• And I've always lived like this, keeping a comfortable distance •

You look at me, it's like you hit me with lightening.
Starry Eyed||Ellie Goulding
 
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Day 20 - Your future
 
I hate thinking about my future. But I think I'll turn out alright.

Sex, love, control, vanity.

Two years ago - 433 views
Sex, love, control, vanity.
Mirrors || Natalia Kills
My lover showed my this song today.
I love it and you should too.
 
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Follow me!! http://secretrockstar.tumblr.com/
 
Day 19 - Plastic Surgery
 
I am completely against this. No one should ever change their body.
I understand that everyone has their insecurities but how pathetic are you if you want to ruin God's perfect and beautiful creation?
There are people who get plastic surgery because it's medically necessary, like Heidi Klum, Ashley Tisdale, my uncle.
But like Heidi Montag?? Yeah, she was stupid for doing that. And she admits it too.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So yeah. Plastic surgery. Don't do it.
 
Ummm, ok. So. This weekend. I can't believe I'm saying this on the internet because the internet is forever but...I sexted. Ew.
But not like for real. It was just a joke. Like fooling around with the boy.
But he has a girlfriend. And she's cute and all.
I mean, I don't know her. Like at all.
But she's cute.
And he felt a little guilty even though we were just kidding.
BUT WHAT WAS I THINKING? That was so unlike me. I guess it's true.
Girls will do pathetic things for a guy. And vice versa.
Maybe I need help.
No I don't.
I just...I don't like him. But I just can't help feeling that...Maybe something IS wrong with me.
What am I talking about?? OF COURSE SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME.
I'm Trisha. Something is always wrong.
Ughhh.
There's a vulture on my shoulder and he's telling me to give in.
Fixed at Zero || Versaemerge
Follow me!! www.secretrockstar.tumblr.com
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Day 18 - Stereotypes
 
I am sooo stereotypical.
As much as I don't wanna be I am.
I assume a lot. And usually I'm right!
But sometimes I'm wrong and I'm impressed with the person.
There are a lot of stereotypes and I don't blame people for stereotyping.
It's just kind of normal to me, and if you're wrong, you're wrong.
But then there's that whole argument about not judging someone.
Which is true.
I've been trying not to judge people but I just kinda do it.
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It's not a dream anymore, it's worth fighting for.
Looking Up || Paramore
 
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Thanksgiving tomorrow. Haven't written about it yet but I saw Harry Potter. Amazing. Indescribable.
 
Day 17 - Tumblr without pictures
 
That would actually be interesting. Or annoying. It depends on what the person would post.
Like if they whine all the time? I'd unfollow.
But meaningful posts? Quotes? I'd be devoted to them.
 
My Tumblr! www.secretrockstar.tumblr.com
5 comments
I can't keep my hips from swayin' to his sweet melody.
Rock God || Selena Gomez & the Scene
 
Laney loves Liam (: Well, not just yet but she will.
 
It's been MONTHS and today I finally got inspired to write again! New chapter tomorrow too.
 
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Chapter 14
 
One second I was submerged in a very nice, deep sleep. The next I was attacked.
 
"LANEY, WAKE UP!" Dani had jumped on top of me, bruising my organs and almost causing me to have a stroke. Immediately I sat up and pushed her off to my left so that she would land on the other side of my queen sized bed and not the floor. Dani was light, super light, so I had no trouble doing that.
I tried to give her a look that said "I'm freakin' annoyed with you, GO" but I just couldn't. I always had a soft spot for my best friend.
 
Then, I smelled it. That horrible, awful stench that she knew I hated. "Danielle Snow. Have you been smoking?"
 
Her smile slowly died down and her brow furrowed.
 
"Dani, we've talked about this before. I thought you quit." I was really disappointed. And kindof annoyed. Dani started smoking when she was 14, before she met me. We met a little while after that. I'd always hated smoking, especially when my dad got sick because of it. When she was 16, I got her to quit and I really thought she had. Until now. She still hadn't tried to defend herself, which was unlike her. I hated acting like a mom, but I was her friend so right now, I had to. "Well, are you gonna say anything?"
 
She pursed her lips. Then she said, "Jake...he had some friends over and well. I guess I wanted to look cool in front of him. I asked one of the other girls for a cigarette."
 
I nodded, soaking in what she had just said. "Just one?"
 
"Yeah. I swear I won't do it again. It didn't even impress him anyway. He told me smoking wasn't his thing."
Again, I nodded and I felt the slightest pang of joy. At least she learned her lesson. "Ok, what is SO important that you have to attack me AND actually say my name and not one of my usual nicknames? I think I like it better when you call me cupcake."
 
She smiled so big that it was creepy. "Hmm, let's see," she paused for dramatic effect. "Last night, I clearly remember leaving our house to go to Jake's so you and Liam could get it on but...he's not here! So why is that?"
 
I groaned, fell back on my bed, and covered my face with a pillow. I hated that she thought I would just sleep with a boy after our first date. I really wasn't like that. Dani did it all the time, but not me. Never me.
 
"I know that you don't usually put yourself out there but I thought Liam would be an exception. He's PERFECT. Why WOULDN'T you do him?"
 
"Dani. I'm not going to change my morals just for one boy. That wouldn't be worth it. How about I just tell you everything that happened last night?"
 
"Ok! That'll suffice." She got comfy in my bed and gave me another creepy smile.
 
"Stop doing that. Your smile is giving me chills." She obeyed and I told her everything that happened, from the rain to the grocery shopping to what happened when he dropped me off.
 
I bit my lip. "The kiss was perfect. When he kissed me, the only thing I wanted was him. And that's why I didn't invite him inside."
 
"But he wanted you! SO bad! I mean, he even asked to come inside! Why didn't you let him?"
 
"I told you! I wanted him so badly too but I still wasn't willing to give myself up yet. If he really likes me, he won't just want sex. And when I saw his reaction after I turned him down, I truly believed that he didn't just wanna get in my pants."
 
Dani just stared at me. "Wow. You're a really good kid. I slept with Jake the first night I met him."
 
I raised my eyebrow. "You didn't sleep with him the night after Hope Fair. You went home with me, remember?"
 
"Ah, but that wasn't the first night I met him."
 
Then it made sense. "Oh, right." I looked at the clock. 10:37 AM. "I'm gonna call him," I told Dani reached over for my phone.
 
"You can't call him! You'll sound too eager!"
 
"Oh, hush. I think I can handle this myself." But before Dani could protest again, my phone rang. Sure enough, Liam Willwerth was calling me.
 
Dani's eyes got wide. "Is it--"
 
I silenced her and answered the call. "Hi." I tried to sound casual. Oh, the things girls do for boys.
 
"Morning, Lane." I felt my face get hot from hearing his voice. "How'd you sleep?"
 
"Absolutely great," I answered. "I hope you did too." While I said this, Dani ran to my desk and got out paper and a pen.
 
He chuckled. "Yeah, I definitely did. So I was thinking we'd hang out again today?"
 
Dani shook the now-written on paper. "Don't sound too available!" it said.
"I don't know, Liam. I'm pretty busy today. I've got a class on underwater basket weaving that I'm really in to," I joked.
 
"Great! Then we have all day! Meet me at the park. But the other park, not last night's park."
 
I laughed. It was amazing how easy and unstressed I felt around him. "I'll look around. Is noon ok?"
 
"Definitely. See you soon, Lane."
 
"Bye, Liam." After I hung up, I fell back on my bed and touched my lips, remembering last night's kiss. I threw my comforter off my legs and jumped out of bed to pick out my park attire. But of course my best friend had already gotten an outfit ready for me.
 
I took one look at the cute top and flowery skirt and went to my closet to take out a t-shirt and jeans.
 
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Hug?

I'm just a kid with a dream.

Two years ago - 143 views
I'm just a kid with a dream.
Regret || M. Fillmore
I don't wanna live my life in regret.
Wonderin' how it all could have been
I've only got one chance to make it right.
BUY THIS SONG! It's worth it.
And I know the band. They're really gooooooooooooood.
 
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HARRY POTTER!!
Today, I am Cho Chang and I am in love with Edward Cullen.
I'm totally dressing up as her and bringing a picture of Edward Cullen. It's gonna be GREAT. I know it will.
I can't believe it's finally here...
 
Day 14 - Appearance
**I totally just realized that I skipped this day so I'm doing it now**
I care very much about appearance.
What you wear defines you.
And I am pretty superficial about looks but I don't druel at every guy with a nice jaw.
Yeah, my eyes might linger on his body for a little longer than it should but whatever.
I'm pretty judgmental about other people but lately I've been keeping my comments to myself because I offended a friend and I felt bad.
I also care a lot about my appearance.
I'm pretty self conscious but I've decided that I don't wanna show it.
I don't really complain about my body anymore but sometimes it'll slip out.
I just don't have confidence and I wish I did.
But I'll get there.
I'm a work in progress.
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Mischief managed.

Two years ago - 473 views
Mischief managed.
Hedwig's Theme || Harry Potter
I MIGHT GO TO EUROPE AFTER CHRISTMAS. OH MY GOSH.
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I am a Potterhead. Right now it's cold and I love it. I wanna watch Harry Potter and drink tea. It sounds so good. 27 more days until the movie ♥♥
 
Day 15 - Education
 
Education is very important to my family. And me too. It's what I want to finish before getting married or getting a job. I've always been raised to know that it should be a priority in my life. And it is.
I hope that after high school I'll be able to go to Harvard. It's a long shot but I think I can do it.
That's why I work so hard and I don't always makes sets. I'm studying for that next test or trying to de-stress and hang out with my friends. I wouldn't have my life any other way (:
Kiss me, infect me with your love and fill me with your poison.
Take me, t-t-take me. Wanna be your victim, ready for abduction.
E. T. || Katy Perry
 
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HOMECOMING UPDATE:
Follow me? secretrockstar.tumblr.com
I feel like I've used that song before.
I am soooo addicted to Tumblr. I love blogging and talking about girl crap over there haha.
 
So Homecoming was actually fun. I'm really glad I went. the theme was "Return to Neverland" and the gym was amazing. My friend and I wanna be on social committee now!
 
This week was good. I'm satisfied with life right.
I am content.

You gimme the hummingbird heartbeat.

Two years ago - 188 views
You gimme the hummingbird heartbeat.
Hummingbird Heartbeat || Katy Perry
 
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Woooooow, it's been sucha long time since I've made a set.
 
Day 13 - Girls
 
I hate girls and I love them. They're annoying but how would I live without 'em?
They're my best friends and worst enemies.
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Want it fast, want it hard. Don't need money, don't need fame.
Oh No! || Marina and the Diamonds
 
Follow me on tumblr! www.secretrockstar.tumblr.com
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I decided to go to Homecoming. Whoopteedo.
 
Day 12 - Boys
 
Ugh, boys. Ever since I can remember, I've always wanted to have a boyfriend, get married and have kids. That's obviously not going to happen if I don't get a boyfriend!
It's kindof sad. I'm not interested in anyone right now.
I miss the feeling of hope.
Thinking of someone before you fall asleep, wondering if they ever think of you.
Seeing things everywhere that remind you of him.
Wishing at 11:11 for the same exact guy.
I really miss it.
 
Hopefully, my luck will change soon.
Maybe this means that I'm meant for an Australian or English man!
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